weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
