yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize