was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
