So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
