It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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