No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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