i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
