I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
