He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize