I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
