The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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