Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What happened to fro yo and sex?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
