we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
