She said her name was "party"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
two words: eviction party
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
