Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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