Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
