...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
