i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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