guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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