listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
