I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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