whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
