no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I need a beard to bite.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
