Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize