My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
