Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
