So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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