Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
