ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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