apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
