belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
