So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
