addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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