Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
