i just wanna soil my oats bro
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
