I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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