So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.