____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard