Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): We made it safely. Thanks for the call though. (248): Great. Don't do shady things like that ok? (312): But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all. http://tfl.nu/00eu
  Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (1987)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2780) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???" http://tfl.nu/nk2u
  Replies (12) Good night (1035) Bad night (3995)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution? http://tfl.nu/2bly
  Replies (15) Good night (4763) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  So you had sex with my brother?

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): So you had sex with my brother? (1-520): It sounds like you dont need me to answer that. http://tfl.nu/xsv7
  Replies (8) Good night (5634) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you. http://tfl.nu/ose0
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (3116)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good. http://tfl.nu/7tze
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (2231)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty. http://tfl.nu/32wc
  Replies (9) Good night (696) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again http://tfl.nu/hrm5
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (1799)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians http://tfl.nu/7zy4
  Replies (8) Good night (1248) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me. http://tfl.nu/s5ef
  Replies (0) Good night (897) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s
  Replies (7) Good night (669) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick http://tfl.nu/hypd
  Replies (1) Good night (227) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there. http://tfl.nu/l8ar
  Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport http://tfl.nu/wqk2
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (185)

Randomize