Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude i fell asleep inside of her

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  thats awesome

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  (248): Dude i fell asleep inside of her (1-248): thats awesome http://tfl.nu/98db
  Replies (16) Good night (1880) Bad night (803)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed

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  (561): i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/x39u
  Replies (63) Good night (1040) Bad night (11130)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...

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  (716): Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises... http://tfl.nu/8fi6
  Replies (13) Good night (5584) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.

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  (+61): I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy. http://tfl.nu/xos0
  Replies (10) Good night (5740) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Because ur a stupid bitch

  (1-845): View more from New York

  Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.

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  (845): Because ur a stupid bitch (1-845): Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch. http://tfl.nu/0sjk
  Replies (54) Good night (11533) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple

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  (423): I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple http://tfl.nu/2rws
  Replies (11) Good night (1975) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.

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  (636): He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us. http://tfl.nu/lk9h
  Replies (8) Good night (2094) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.

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  (610): It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes. http://tfl.nu/cpyt
  Replies (8) Good night (2349) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.

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  (270): True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor. http://tfl.nu/bso0
  Replies (11) Good night (2123) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

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  (443): I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/q1re
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts

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  (+61): As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts http://tfl.nu/kck3
  Replies (9) Good night (2084) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.

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  (630): She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love. http://tfl.nu/5dr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1708) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad

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  (843): I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad http://tfl.nu/ivow
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed

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  (304): You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed http://tfl.nu/k800
  Replies (4) Good night (1481) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich

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  (201): And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich http://tfl.nu/6ewp
  Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (241)

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