I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
