i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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