We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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