I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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