His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I did not marry a roomba.
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