Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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