For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
