shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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