so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
whose parrot is this?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
