so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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