Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
