dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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