I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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