who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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