I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
