New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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