he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
