So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize