How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize