i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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