I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
