hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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