i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
