She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am available for nakedness
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize