Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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